The Performing Arts College Commandments

The performing arts college commandments were in the first edition paperback of Withering Tights, but I haven't found them anywhere else yet.

Do NOT photocopy your bottom
DO wear a false moustache
Do NOT perform ballet on a bike
DO try to involve small (but willing) animals onstage
DO find the comedy in everything
Do NOT try to understand your egg-xistence
Do NOT reveal your pants onstage (especially not worn over your other clothes)
DO method acting (especially if it involves lots of snogging practice)
Do NOT try to order snacks backstage just because you got the main part
DO remember where the lights are (a footlight is not for sticking your foot through)
DO ad lib (blame your creative genius urges)
DO bag the role where you get to snog a hot boy (but beware his understudy)
DO post your hilarious interpretative dance moves online
Do NOT create costumes out of bubblewrap
DO let your inner gorilla out
Do NOT do mime snogging, especially if you are by yourself
DO use comedy props, they are always welcome
It is NOT amusing to eat beans and be the front end of a pantomime horse
DO sing in silly accents
DO fill your tights and don the golden slippers of applause!